


spill your guts

by angstyteen



Series: tall dark and gloomy [1]
Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Bad Writing, Buckle up, Chat fic (kind of), Death, Face Reveal!!, Fire, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hardcore Origin Story lol, Help this poor boy, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Nazis, No beta we die like Uncle Ben, Peter B is Team Mom, Peter Benjamin Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Benjamin Parker Needs a Hug, Scary Peter Benjamin Parker, Subscribe to Technoblade, The Spider God is a dick, Underage Drinking, also noir cusses like a mfing sailor cuz i said so, he kind of dissasociates sometimes and fucking burns his fingers to ground himself, hes MY comfort character and I get to use him to cope, i havent read the comics yet please forgive me, i might add more tags alongthe way idk, noir is 17 in this fic!!!, sorry these tags are such a mess omfg, there arent enough angsty spider noir fics and im here to fix that, this is gonna be angsty yall im not even kidding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:23:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27996717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyteen/pseuds/angstyteen
Summary: “Can you close off your feelings so you don't get crippled by the moral ambiguity of your violent actions???”…How the hell had he ended up telling his whole life story to these people instead?(please read tags!!! multiple trigger warnings in there!!!)
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Benjamin Parker, Miles Morales & Peni Parker & Peter B. Parker & Peter Benjamin Parker & Peter Porker & Gwen Stacy, Peter Benjamin Parker & Other(s)
Series: tall dark and gloomy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050557
Comments: 28
Kudos: 55





	spill your guts

**Author's Note:**

> no this is not me projecting my repressed feelings what
> 
> most of the titles are songfics so be sure to look out for that, and please enjoy??

_It's hard to be charming and smart and disarming_

_It's hard to pretend you're the best_

_It's hard to fulfill everyone's expectations_

_It's hard to keep up with the rest_

_: im gonna win, by rob cantor :_

\---

When asked about it, he would always tell others how revenge was a terrible thing that made you _feel_ somewhat, accomplished.. But then ripped the feeling away and replaced it with something _bitter and rotten_ that burned deep _deep **deep**_ inside of you.

Yet, he _craved_ the feeling.

But then he remembered the disgusted look on Aunt May's face when he had killed the Vulture. So he decided that he was going to try his best, _for Aunt May **for Uncle Ben.**_

Though when he heard that ~~_**the bastard who killed my**_ _ **uncle**_~~ the vulture was somehow brought back to life? He thought he had lost the little sanity he had left.

He should have expected it, really. Because the universe just liked to fuck with him like that.

\---

He didnt even take time to think over the offer to investigate the case, he just bolted straight through the door and to the destination of where the vulture was last seen.

_And boy was he in for a treat_

_..._

_There it was._

**_The vulture, in the flesh._ ** _Gunshot wound still in its head, and fresh, just like it was that day._

He couldnt move. He was stuck, legs glued to the floor. All he could look at was the gunshot wound, _if he looked close enough he could see the bullet still lodged in there._

The worst part? Was that he seemed _perfectly fine,_ considering the fact that he had just rose from the dead. _It was terrifying._

He stared into its eyes, trying with all his might to avert the blood that was dripping from its forheard.

Taking advantage of his paralyzed state, the vulture quickly moved and _slashed_ at his chest with his disgustingly _long_ and _sharp_ nails.

And as if a trance had been broken, Noir pressed a button on his goober, and d _isappeared_ just as quickly as he came.

...

And that's how he ended up passed out in Aunt May’s living room drenched in blood.

🕷️🕷️🕷️

Peni had found a way to safely travel to other dimensions, and without glitching!! She called it a dimension hopper but of course, the others settled on calling it a goober. 

The new and improved goober had a lot of helpful features to it. First and most importantly it helped them _safely_ hop into other dimensions, and let their atoms stay intact while being there. So they could stay as long as they needed _or wanted_ to. They had also found a way to connect everybody to an interdimensional group chat which made communication _a lot_ easier. So every time someone dimension hopped everybody would get alerted, _which made it kind of hard to surprise anyone but it is what it is I guess._

So you could imagine their surprise when they saw that their normally cold and closed off friend ( _who refused help from everyone unless it was forced) had hopped into Miles’ dimension with no warning._

**_the spider fam_ **

**_\---------------_ **

_December 10, 2020_

_\---_

_Gwanda : did anybody else just get an alert or was it just me_

_Gwanda :_ **_@ everyone_ **

_hide ur nico nico kneecaps : what_

_hide ur nico nico kneecaps : oh was that what that buzzing was_

_hide ur nico nico kneecaps : lol sorry i’ve been working on sp//der <(-_-)> _

_🅱️eter : yeah wtf did noir dimension hop?_

_hide ur nico nico kneecaps : wait noir dimension hopped huh_

_Subscribe to technoblade :_ **_@#1 Grandpa_ **

_Legally baby : ???_

_Legally baby : Oh yeah hes in my dimension_

_Legally baby : Tracker says hes at myas house im omw rn_

_Legally baby : May's**_

_Subscribe to technoblade : Myas_

_hide ur nico nico kneecaps : myas_

_🅱️eter : myas_

_Gwanda : myas_

_Legally baby : Can you dont_

_Legally baby : Pls_

_Gwanda : ahkhdgjshajh_

_Subscribe to technoblade : Tell us when you’re there kiddo!! =D_

_Subscribe to technoblade : Also what's a Technoblade???_

**_🅱️eter has gone offline_ **

**_Gwanda has gone offline_ **

**_Legally baby has gone offline_ **

hide ur nico nico kneecaps : rip

**_hide ur nico nico kneecaps has gone offline_ **

_Subscribe to technoblade : ???_

_Subscribe to technoblade : '-'_

**_Subscribe to technoblade has gone offline_ **

**_🕷️🕷️🕷️_ **

He was drowning, _sinking_ like something was dragging him down _downdowndownd_ **_owndown-_ **

****

_Its fine you’ll be fine just think happy thoughts happy thoughts!!_

_..._

_Him and Uncle Ben playing catch, cooking dinner with Aunt May, Mother and Fathers warm smiles.._

**_..._ **

_Uncle Ben died the day after that, Peter found his mauled body in some dingy alleyway._

**_..._ **

_Aunt May was never the same after Uncle Ben passed, (but could he really blame her?)_ ****

**_..._ **

_Mother and Father.. Well there's not much to say about them. They had died when Peter was barely 4, reassuring smiles on their faces when they told him -_

_“We’ll be back soon Peter, don't worry!”_

_The next day they were found dead. No corpses to bury - not like they had enough money to get them a proper burial service anyways._

**_..._ **

The world was a cruel place, filled with filth that poisoned those around them. 

He knows he isnt any better than them. 

He was cursed with power, and he _hated himself for that._ But he might as well make good out of this, right? Because _maybe_ he could use this to repent for his sins in a way. _(Everyday he starts to believe it less and less._ )

And so he dedicated his life to snuffing out the scum that infested the streets of his _home_ and made a name for himself.

_The Spider_

_..._

Peter Benjamin Parker was a dead man in his universe. He lost his humanity a while ago.

Then he met the others, others like **_him._ **They were kind and accepting, almost like they were a _real_ family (he remembers thinking, how that would be their downfall someday). Which of course, made him _scared_. All of this warmth that they were radiating? He was just so unfamiliar with it. And so, he put walls up.

The ones that seperated them from the _real_ him. He kept them all at an arms length and never let _any_ of them get to close. He never took off his mask, never let his guard down, and he was always ready for a fight. As if one day, they would just turn on him. _Like everybody else hes ever known, why would they be any different?_

And this is where he was wrong... Oh so _very_ wrong.

(i changed a few things to the first chapter)

**Author's Note:**

> lets hope i actually end up finishing this fic lolol
> 
> this is all completely self indulgent, im really sorry if the writing is messy!!


End file.
